Satire

*This is your dad, Wesley. I had to add this note that Poppi sent me while your mom and I were on our honeymoon cruise to show another side of Poppi*

Ryan-
Glad you’re having a great time. Quick update from home: You were right – those were Aunt Mildred’s teeth on the dance floor at the wedding. The guy that slipped and fell on them is due out of ICU later this week, or so his attorney said. Also, we were wrong about the number of people that got food poisoning from eating the fish – it was only 35. The other three got sick on the cake. The flood waters are receding at your house and it appears as though the kitchen is now in the living room. The roofer says that the meteor didn’t tear up as much of the roof as he thought it had, so he thinks he can save at least part of it. Speaking of the meteor, it did graze your cat. The vet says that many cats do just fine with three legs, so Cappy should be ok. He is however having a slight vision problem; he keeps missing his liter box by about 6 inches. He always misses on the right, so maybe you can get him fitted for glasses, after the “cat trauma therapy” that is. Your car should be out of the shop by the time you get back. Again, there was just minor damage, and the kids on the school bus are all just fine – or so the School Board attorney says. And your boss called. Apparently the email you sent requesting time off for the honeymoon got lost in an IT malfunction. You may have some explaining to do, but I think it will be ok. After all they ARE girl scouts, aren’t they? The clerk of courts called. You and Taylor are going to need to go through some formalities to get your marriage “officially” recognized. It seems that the minister that married you is only authorized to marry blond haired people. That’s about it – everything else is fine. Have a great time and don’t worry about anything. Oh I almost forgot, Wesley married the waitress from Romano’s – the cute one that changed his diaper!

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